Speedline
by rhapsodybree
Summary: A post-ep tag to “Redline” where Jane – never promising not to speed – takes Lisbon for a drive in Walter Mashburn’s fast 'lend' car. And gets pulled over... Humorous oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my own creations.

**Author's Note: **Takes place right after Lisbon steps into Walter Mashburn's fast car, shuts the door and Jane accelerates off at the end of "Redline".

* * *

'Slow down,' ordered Lisbon, her fingers grappling for something to hold on to as the blonde haired consultant accelerated.

'Oh be quiet woman,' said Jane, ignoring her. 'Let go of yourself for one minute and relax!'

'I am relaxed!' she retorted, carefully placing her hands in her lap with intention. She was brushing windblown strands of hair from her face when Jane snorted. 'What was _that_ for?'

'Oh nothing,' he said. Speed still increasing, he flashed her a grin. 'I believe congratulations are in order,' he declared.

'Now what are you talking about?' asked the bewildered Lisbon.

'You didn't report Grace and Rigsby to HR,' he said smugly. 'I knew you would-'

'No you didn't!' she interjected loudly. 'You didn't know anything.'

'You're an old softie inside who doesn't want to break up other people's happiness,' Jane replied knowingly. Looking in his mirror, he took his foot off the accelerator. 'And hang onto the thought will you...'

Police sirens sounded.

'Now you've done it,' sighed Lisbon, reaching for her badge as Jane pulled the car over. 'Keep your mouth shut.'

'Nah ah,' dismissed Jane cockily as the officer stepped out of his car, tucking his shirt in as he walked toward them. 'I'll handle this.'

'Hello Officer!' he said merrily to the new arrival. He gave the pot-bellied man no time to respond. 'I was just test driving this beautiful car for a good friend of mine. Walter Mashburn? I'm sure you've heard of him?' The officer's face didn't budge. 'No?' offered Jane. 'Rich guy? Flash car?'

He turned to Lisbon. 'He doesn't know Mashburn.'

Lisbon nodded sceptically, keeping her profile low. The less involved she was in this, the better. The officer whipped out his notepad. 'Do you really expect me to believe that?'

'Just about as much as you expect us to believe that you haven't just come from an afternoon session with your mistress,' replied Jane in a friendly tone. 'And if my psychic mind is right, said lovely woman is the better half of one of your colleagues.'

The man sized up the sunnily grinning man before he flipped the notepad shut. 'Don't speed,' he warned, turning on his heel.

Victory was clear on Jane's face as he turned to his boss. 'Easy!'

'Thought there were no things as psychics?' asked Lisbon, eyebrow arched as the police car zoomed by them.

'How many officers do you know walk around with their shirt untucked and a lipstick stain on their collar?' replied Jane factually, starting up the loan car once again. 'Nothing psychic about it. It's elementary dear Watson.'

'That's not the only thing it is Sherlock,' she muttered, thoroughly miffed.

'Sorry?' asked Jane lightly, easing back onto the road.

'Nothing!' declared Lisbon. 'We're going back to Mr Mashburn's place now, and we're going to drop this off.'

'No can do,' said Jane, shaking his head woefully as the speed climbed once again.

'Why ever not?' she asked exasperatedly.

'Mashburn's waiting for us at the restaurant, that's why,' replied Jane succinctly. 'Or more to the point – he's waiting for you.' He shrugged his shoulders. 'I'm just the glorified chauffeur.'

'Oh no...' said Lisbon warningly, turning her face to his form. 'You can't be serious.'

He looked deadly so for a long minute before he shook his head with a grin. 'Nah.'

She hit his shoulder, trying not to smile in her certain indignation. 'Stop looking at me, smartarse, and watch the road.'

'Sure you don't want to blindfold me?' teased Jane. 'Add some excitement to your life?' He paused for effect, his eyes dancing merrily as he found hers. 'Or will Mr Mashburn be all the excitement you can handle?'

_Enough with the Walter Mashburn_, she gritted inwardly. Outwardly, she decided on another tack. 'Why?' she asked in a sugary sweet tone, taking a page out of his book. 'You jealous?'

She grinned when he flushed and turned away. She could tell that he had been prepared for a number of responses, but not that one.

The car sped up.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. _So this was his petty retaliation?_ Well, her response this time was going to be predictable.

'Jane!'

* * *

_Just a little good fun to tie in with this fun episode. _


End file.
